Internal Power

if you feel you get bullied as a male adult, imposed upon, intimidated, people berrating you, what is the?

right way to respond to that without getting angry or aggressive?
iam a 30 year old bpd sufferer, who has low self esteem, has never asserted myself very well, is afraid to assert to other males, iam vunerable to right now…..and im not afraid to put this part of be outthere.
i seek the truth, to recover, to get well, attain my goals, and have a happy life. im full of integrity.
but theres certain things i dont feel i have the ability to deal with.
like people bullying you or intimidating you or imposing on you..or playing indirect mind games…using key words…insinuation….
in situations like this, im scared ill become angry and aggressive, not violent. but shout and get angry.

I understand how you feel. I too suffer from BPD. I’m assuming that since you know your diagnosis, you are seeking treatement for it, correct? That’s a good thing. I see a therapist monthly just to let out my feelings that I’m too afraid to let out at the moment they occur because of the anger that you described. My therapist encourages me to tell people how I feel and sort out the rational anger from the out of control irrational anger. It’s okay to be angry about things and it’s okay to talk about them and sometimes you do need to shout to get your point across, but with people like you and I, our anger can just spiral out of control and before you know it, we’re out of people to yell at because nobody wants to have a simple conversation with us anymore. It’s hard, but the good thing is that BPD doesn’t have to be a lifelong ailment. You just need to learn what triggers your outbursts and work on trying to control your reactions to those triggers. And by all means, talk to someone about how you feel. Even if it’s just a trusted friend.

And don’t take bullying from anyone. You don’t deserve it. You deserve to be treated with respect just like everyone else. But instead of yelling at people, treat them with the respect you want them to give you without just laying down and taking it. Talk to them about how you are feeling and if they continue, then it might be time to cut ties with that person. That might be hard if you work with them or live with them, but I don’t know your exact situation.

I think the best situation for you would be to have someone you respect to talk to. If you need someone to talk to, I check my email everyday (except on weekends because I don’t have internet at home unless I go to my mothers house) so feel free to message me. Vent your frustrations. Let it out. I’ll try to give my best advice from what I’ve learned while living with BPD. My email is xindy924@yahoo.com. Hang in there.

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